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Michaela Marek
Publisher & Founder
Note to Self: Take Nothing Personally
by Claire Adalyn Wright
Sometimes other people offer us positive sentiments and we may feel complimented, validated, or even proud. It can be flattering to been seen by another in a favorable light. This might entice us to hold our head higher or walk with a lighter step. A stranger approached me after a recent choir performance to tell me how much he enjoyed the choir and especially my singing. How sweet that was! I wore a smile and continued to feel pleased for some time after receiving his praise.
Sometimes other people’s opinions are important to consider. We can look at the events, beliefs or perceptions of our lives from a new perspective through hearing someone’s views that differ from our own. Initially, it may not be something we are comfortable with, yet over time we can learn to be more accepting of diverse ideas. I have friends and colleagues whose remarks can often open my eyes to new ways of seeing life. I have come to value their opinions all the more.
However, sometimes other people’s comments may undermine us. People might say things to us in a disapproving tone or with a derogatory intent. We may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or assume a lowered sense of self-esteem as a result. If you notice yourself feeling bad after hearing negative things other people say to or about you, I encourage you to remind yourself to take nothing personally. This is an easy, three-word mantra to call upon if you are in a period of self-doubt. In his book “The Four Agreements,” don Miguel Ruiz identifies “don’t take anything personally” as one of the four keys to personal freedom. Ruiz advises us to consider: What others say is not about us, it’s about them.
While it’s fine to receive compliments or have our world broadened by others’ differing views, if you have an assumed contract with another person that he or she is smarter or wiser than you, or that he or she can bully you, reexamine the wisdom of that pact. If another’s statement or behavior touches an old wound in your psyche with the result that you are holding onto negativity, and you find it affects your enjoyment of life on an ongoing basis, it may be time to seek professional help.
If the notion to take nothing personally does not resonate with you, ask yourself if there is any other self-limiting pattern going on in your life. In either case, take some time to learn about what you’re feeling. Write about it, or talk about it with someone you trust. Continue to examine it and come up with a more positive alternative belief. Then condense your ideas down to your own self-empowering mantra. We can learn to overcome what inhibits or holds us back! That is my wish for you right now.
With hope for peace in the world,
Claire
Claire Adalyn Wright is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families to improve relationships and increase satisfaction with life. She also offers a weekly Women’s Group and SoulCollage® Group Trainings. Her office is on Bascom Avenue near Hamilton Avenue in San Jose. You can contact her at 408-998-7098.
EarthTalk®
From the Editors of E/The Environmental Magazine
Dear EarthTalk: What are the environmental impacts of all the de-icing and snow removal taking place on roads everywhere in the wake of all the recent storms? – Benjamin P Sander, via e-mail
The act of removing pure white snow seems innocuous enough, but it is actually fraught with negative environmental side effects. One major concern is the snow’s salt content, as most locales use sodium chloride (rock salt) to de-ice roads. But this salt can make nearby freshwater ecosystems uninhabitable for plant and wildlife species, and can affect the quality and taste of local drinking water supplies.
Besides salt, removed snow contains accumulated amounts of antifreeze, engine oil, rubber and metal deposits from tire wear, and heaps of plastic litter, cigarette butts and other waste which is also poisonous to local ecosystems no matter where it ends up.
Researchers in Toronto, Ontario have found that at least one local snow dump has been wreaking havoc in the nearby Don River. “Road salt adversely affects sensitive species when it exceeds 200 milligrams per liter of water,” reports journalist Michael Lehan. “Almost half of the test results taken between 2002 and 2005 in the river exceeded that, and the highest concentration recorded was almost 4,000 milligrams per liter.” The result, he says, is that the river can barely support life. “Only six pollution resistant fish species…can be found in the river.” Across town in the city’s west end, the Humber River—which doesn’t have a snow dump to contend with—supports some 30 species of fish.
Many regions are working on ways to green their snow removal processes. In Maryland, for example, road crews are pre-treating major roadways with brine, a saltwater solution that helps prevent snow and ice from sticking and thus reduces the amount of salt needed after a storm. The state is also experimenting with a beet juice and brine mix with the hope that it will stick to roads better and prevent snow and ice build-up. Massachusetts pre-treats roads with magnesium chloride to help prevent incoming snow and ice from sticking, and also uses a sodium chloride and calcium chloride mix on icy roads in environmentally sensitive areas and when the temperature gets too low (below 20 degrees Fahrenheit) for rock salt to be effective. According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), using de-icers properly can cut down on the amount applied overall and improve road conditions.
Regardless of how much and what de-icers a given locale chooses to use, where the resulting removed snow ends up is the most important environmental consideration. In New Hampshire, another state that’s no stranger to snow, state officials require the placement of a silt fence between snow dumps and any nearby waterways, and have mandated that snow storage areas be at least 400 feet from municipal wells.
Of course, those who complain about the environmental effects of snow removal should consider the root cause of the problems: The concentrated hazards in snow dumps—from rock salt to motor oil—are mostly a direct result of our society’s reliance on the private automobile. While asking your local and state government to green up their snow removal operations is one way to help, another is to choose mass transit or carpool whenever you can, and to convince as many friends as you can to do likewise.
CONTACTS: Maryland Department of Transportation, www.mdot.maryland.gov; Massachusetts Department of Transportation, www.massdot.state.ma.us; U.S. EPA, www.epa.gov.
SEND YOUR ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTIONS TO: EarthTalk®, P.O. Box 5098, Westport, CT 06881; earthtalk@emagazine.com. Read past columns at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalk/archives.php. EarthTalk® is now a book! Details and order information at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalkbook.
Gluten Awareness and Alternatives
Eucalyptus’ February Networking Event Gives the Gluten-free Diet a Taste
By: Juliet Blalack
Could the secret to eating your cake and being healthy too be making that cake gluten-free?
According to Eucalyptus guest speakers Dr. Vicki Peterson and chef Amanda Macdessi, quite possibly. Peterson shared her research on gluten sensitivity and Macdessi provided tips for gluten-free baking at Eucalyptus’ networking event on Feb. 9.
It is well known that those with celiac disease should avoid grains with gluten in them, including wheat, rye and barley. However, when Dr. Vicki Peterson began studying the effects of gluten on patients without celiac disease, she found that many more people stand to benefit from cutting gluten out of their diets.
She saw the damage gluten does to many people’s small intestines, and concluded that a large portion of the population – in her estimate, 30 to 40 percent – is sensitive to gluten, even though not all those people have celiac disease. People who are gluten-sensitive may experience depression, fatigue, headaches or bloating when they eat grains with gluten in them. Peterson explained these findings in her book “The Gluten Effect,” which spearheaded awareness of gluten sensitivity.
“Within months of the book being published, big researchers acknowledged gluten sensitivity,” said Peterson.
On Tuesday evening, after Dr. Peterson shed some light on the prevalence of gluten allergies, pastry chef Amanda Macdessi shared her tips for ensuring food allergies don’t spoil the party. Macdessi has been cooking specialty foods for more than a decade, because her husband has food allergies. When the chefs at her culinary school said it was impossible to bake without dairy and eggs, Macdessi decided to set out on her own.
“I started bringing stuff to the chef (without dairy, eggs, and wheat) and he couldn’t tell the difference,” she laughed.
Now Macdessi and her husband own a specialized bakery in Milpitas. At Let Them Eat Cake Bakery, Macdessi makes treats without nuts, soy, and/or gluten. Her advice to those starting to cook and eat without gluten? Keep a sense of adventure, and a sense of humor. Changing one’s diet can be an opportunity to discover new foods instead of mourning old favorites.
Macdessi receives a lot of positive feedback for her treats from customers, and many have told her of their frustration in seeking tasty baked goods that are also allergen-free. She originally sold cakes without nuts, eggs or milk, but so many people approached her about making gluten-free goodies that Macdessi decided to expand her repertoire.
“[Food allergies] are becoming a major health issue,” she said.
The two speakers drew a crowd of more than 60 people to the Sonya Paz Fine Art Gallery in downtown Campbell, where allergen-free cornbread muffins were served.
“When people first hear that the muffins are vegan and gluten-free they kind of get a suspicious look – and then they bite down into them and looked surprised at how good they are,” laughed Macdessi.
Check out Let Them Eat Cake’s unique offerings, ranging from vegan pan dulce to coconut and banana cake at www.allergyfriendlypastries.com/.
To learn more about Dr. Vicki Peterson’s Health Now clinics, go to www.healthnowmedical.com, or read about her gluten sensitivity research at www.thegluteneffect.com.
Love. Love? Love!
The Beatles’ song “All You Need Is Love” has been running through my head recently. Since that began, I’ve noticed the song everywhere. It’s funny how that happens – like when you have a new car, you suddenly see that same model all the time. And no wonder this tune is popular again. After all, February is the month of love because it includes Valentine’s Day, right? Yes, but we need not limit love to romantic relationships, or only to February.
There are words in the Greek language for love that suggest we can love romantically one way, and we can love friends and family another way. What I know is we can also love ourselves. This is not to say, “Be self-centered.” What it does say is “Honor the self.” All my life I’ve heard the Biblical quote, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” As a result I did try to live my life by loving my neighbor. I have to admit it took years to understand the “as thyself” portion of that saying. I have learned it is actually only after we learn to love ourselves that we can truly love another.
If you are missing romance right now, this can be an opportunity to treat yourself as you might like a significant other to treat you. If you are in relationship, you can still love yourself in ways that may not be being met in the relationship. Do you want to see a movie or a play? Go for a walk in a park or visit a museum? Window-shop or take a new class? This might be just the right time for you to treat you to a special date. During the date, relish the awareness that you are caring for yourself.
You might think “I could never do something like that alone.” If that’s true, consider Julia Cameron’s concept of an “artist date” in her book “The Artist’s Way.” This exercise, which she suggests we take weekly, is intentionally done alone. Think for a moment about the difference between the words “alone” and “lonely.” Feeling lonely is feeling all by oneself. To be alone is a chance to be with oneself.
Maybe fear holds you back. If so, examine the fear reaction. I once heard an instructor say, “When you take away the fear, what’s left is the love.” What is something you fear right now? One way to work through fear include learning as much as you can – you can read, talk with people you trust, or write in a journal to let your pen and inner wisdom decipher the fear. In Cameron’s book, she suggests a daily commitment to write “morning pages.” Sometimes just saying or writing down the thoughts that run through our minds can help us move beyond fear.
I will end with the quote, “Live well, laugh often, love much.” Whether you are in a romantic relationship or not today, my wish for you this month is that you love much.
Claire
Claire Adalyn Wright is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families to improve relationships and increase satisfaction with life. She also offers a weekly Women’s Group and SoulCollage® Group Trainings. Her office is on Bascom Avenue near Hamilton Avenue in San Jose. You can contact her at 408-998-7098.
If you read the feature article on South Bay chocolatiers in our February issue and were tempted to trek to the sumptuous shop near you but haven’t gotten there yet, this might be your week: It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re shopping for your spouse, sweetheart or self, check out the holiday offerings from Go To Chocolate, for example, at www.gotochocolate.com.
You could splurge for the $28 “deluxe red velvet box,” which contains 14 chocolates, including the one we can’t get off our minds, called Ecuador origin cocoa bean chocolate with pomegranate ganache. Or go more modest, but still luscious, with a “precious red velvet box” that cradles four chocolates for $8.
See our fuller list of local chocolatiers in the February issue at www.eucalyptusmagazine.com.
Resolve to Stay Present in 2010 – It’s In the Palm of Your Hand
By Claire Adalyn Wright
Do you find yourself forgetting things you thought you could easily remember? Do you search for your sunglasses or rush around? You’re not alone! These are the sorts of things that happen when we’re not living in the present moment.
Staying present is akin to being mindful. Being mindful means if you’re doing laundry, focus on doing the laundry. If you’re making dinner, focus on making the dinner. Ram Dass says, “Be here now.” Louise Hay suggests that “Our power is in the present.” Anne Lamott writes, “And now is all we have.”
What I know is when I spend too much energy ruminating about the past or fretting over the future, I miss what’s going on in the present. We can learn to notice when we’re absent to ourselves.
Practicing meditation and yoga are some ways to help us learn to keep our minds present to the moment. I have an additional idea that is simple. It just takes intention to notice the ruminating or fretting. I call this exercise “The Present is In The Palm of Your Hand.” Try it:
Look at the present moment
Turn one hand palm facing up.
With a finger from the other hand, slowly, gently trace the perimeter of your palm.
Imagine that your palm represents the present moment.
Now look toward the future
It’s important to have goals and plans for the future that we’re working on or looking forward to.
Use that same finger to gently rub outwards, away from your palm, on each finger.
Imagine your fingers represent different plans or goals.
However, if we are living in the future, we may be asking “What if x,” or “What if y?”
Bring your finger to tap gently on the tip of one of the fingers.
That fretting is a reminder to gently bring yourself back to the present.
Move your finger back to trace the palm of your hand again.
Now look back at the past
It’s important to reflect on memories, or see what we can learn from previous experiences.
Move your finger gently down your wrist and forearm, away from your palm.
Imagine your arm represents the past.
However, if we are living in the past, we may become sad or angry or full of regret.
Bring your finger to tap on the end of your forearm furthest from your palm.
Those emotions are reminders to bring yourself back to the present to explore current options.
Move your finger back to trace the palm of your hand again.
When I stay present to myself in the moment, time actually seems to stretch — minutes last longer. Even days, weeks and months seem to linger. I feel more efficient and satisfied with life. As forwarded-email folklore often points out, the present is a gift.
This year, I encourage you to give yourself the gift to live more in the present moment of your life,
Claire
Claire Adalyn Wright is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works with individuals, couples, families and groups to improve relationships and increase satisfaction with life. Her office is in San Jose. You can reach her at 408-998-7098.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
San Francisco, CA
December 29, 2009
Wish Upon a Wedding is a brand new nonprofit organization, dedicated to granting weddings and civil union ceremonies at destinations across the United States to couples facing life-threatening illnesses. The organization will begin accepting applications for Wedding Wishes in mid January, 2010.
Founded by wedding planner, Liz Guthrie of San Jose Wedding Consultants, with the hope that no couple should ever be denied the chance to marry the one they love, Wish Upon a Wedding is the only organization of its kind in existence today.
By calling on a regional database of wedding vendors known as “Wish Granters”, the organization will be able to grant five types of weddings (from simple to more elaborate), some in as quickly as 48 hours. How quickly the services are granted, and how detailed the weddings are, depends upon the Wish Recipient’s health condition.
“Many couples cannot afford to get married, due to overwhelming medical bills, particularly those who have been battling life threatening conditions, sometimes for many years, ” says Guthrie.“Often a person is too sick to even leave their hospital bed, or they may be in hospice care,” explains Guthrie, “If their last wishes include marrying their partner who stood by them through their most difficult times, we want to help make that dream come true. What better way to celebrate love than with their closest friends and family, in one of life’s most significant ceremonies?”
Four chapters will be ready to grant wishes in early 2010, in the following locations: San Francisco, New York, Chicago, and Orlando.
Industry leaders who have joined the cause so far, by leading chapters across the country, include renowned wedding planners Sasha Souza (Founding President), Samantha Goldberg, Elisa Delgardio, and Kevin Covey, and author Sharon Naylor.
Official website launches January 15, 2010. For more information email info@wishuponawedding.org
December, 2009: The World Is Turning a Year Older, What Will You Do In 2010?
By Claire Adalyn Wright
Here it is December in the Bay Area when the natural world hibernates. Days are shorter, trees barren, clouds hover. While us, humans, are often more active. Shopping? Partying? Traveling near and far? The furred and feathered creatures of earth model a slower pace as our calendar year comes to a close. Maybe we too can learn to make time to just be.
Rest, relax, but wait – what now? Does relaxation sound… boring? Here’s an idea: take time this month for personal reflection and preparation. Be brief or indulgent in making a permanent record for yourself: Where have you been? What have you done? Where are you going? What will you do next?
Reflecting and planning make sense from the perspective of the early Roman philosopher, Lucius Seneca. He noticed when we do not know the harbor we seek with our body as vessel, no wind will be right for our mind as sails. I believe we will be more content with life if we assess our past navigational decisions to reveal a fitting route for the future. Try it. You may decide to make this an annual tradition.
Brief: Grab a notepad and pen. Think about family, friends, places, projects. Jot down important highlights from 2009. Now note what major events you anticipate in 2010. Write that down too. Place this in a prominent place, like your fridge or bathroom mirror, to use as a navigational aid.
That’s it! Now you can return to your busyness if you like. Or, if you prefer to take one more step, tear words and images from a magazine to represent your intentions. Paste these on a sheet of construction paper. Display this where you will see it for periodic course adjustments during this coming year.
Indulgent: Gather a journal, pen, your favorite herbal tea, magazines, a glue stick, scissors and poster board. As you sip from the warm mug, ponder the grand scheme of your precious life. What have you achieved? What you would like to further accomplish in your lifetime? Write about memorable milestones from 2009. Write about what you look forward to in 2010.
Now review what you wrote. Choose some realistic goals for the coming year. Simply put, goals are options for the future. How can you make progress on what you want to accomplish in the next 1, 5, 10 and 20 years? Goals are not cast in concrete, they are merely stepping stones to guide your path, to arrange and rearrange as you, your unique talents, and interests unfurl.
Finish with creating a goals poster. Search some magazines, cutting out words and pictures to symbolically show your aspirations. Glue these on the poster board. Hang it where you will periodically notice it throughout the year for a visual reminder of what’s dear, to identify harbor(s) to pursue on your life journey.
I wish you peace and good fortune navigating the season and all of 2010,
Claire
Claire Adalyn Wright is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works with individuals, couples, families and groups to improve relationships and increase satisfaction with life. Her office is in San Jose. Please contact her at 408-998-7098.
Vegetable Paradise Found
By Becky Herbert
In the heart of winter when most mornings are frosty and the thought of all delicious summer vegetables are a mere memory, there lies in the heart of San Juan Bautista Valley a mecca of fresh, near-impossible-to-find local vegetables this time of year.
On Saturdays from 9:00AM-1:00PM you can venture over to 400 Duncan Ave, just off highway 156, and load up on a variety of root vegetables, greens, apples, bell peppers, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots and brussel sprouts to name a few. If you are lucky, a batch of beefsteak tomatoes are also available, which are grown under hoop houses to protect them from the frost. Local, pasture-raised eggs are usually available from a neighbor as well as local honey.
Phil Foster, grower of dozens of organic fruits and vegetables year-round, is the innovative farmer behind this gold mine of produce. In addition to outsmarting Mother Nature in an effort to have a diverse array of produce available year round, Phil is dedicated to supplying his employees year-round jobs with pay well above the minimum wage and full benefits for themselves and their families. He also uses biodiesel to fuel his farm equipment and runs his coolers almost completely on solar energy.
I am like a kid in a candy store when I arrive on an early Saturday morning in January, canvas bags in tow. In no time at all I fill them to the rim with garlic, onions, potatoes, cabbage, tomatoes, bell peppers, broccoli, carrots and anything else I can get my hands on. My mind now focused on the vegetable soup I plan to make as soon as I get home, the winter chill I had is now long gone.
Vegetable Soup
by Mollie Katzen
1 large potato, scrubbed and diced
2 cups chopped onions
2 cups chopped cabbage
½ lb mushrooms, sliced
1 large stalk celery, minced
6 cups water
2 tsp salt
2 bay leaves
3 to 4 medium sized ripe tomatoes
1 ½ cups tomato juice
6 medium garlic cloves, minced
1 medium-sized zucchini, diced
5 scallions, minced
Fresh ground black pepper
*This recipe is also great with bell pepper, cauliflower, broccoli or any other of your favorite vegetables. Add beans for a heartier soup if desired.
*Visit www.pinnacleorganic.com for directions to and further info about Phil Foster’s Ranch.
